


Koi No Yokan (Premonition of Love)

by withinmelove



Category: Mononoke-hime | Princess Mononoke
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Fantasy, Female-Centric, First Love, Foreplay, Friendship/Love, Gen, Gentle Sex, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Magic, Old Gods, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Sex, Studio Ghibli, Yuletide, Yuletide 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 09:14:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27968126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withinmelove/pseuds/withinmelove
Summary: Toki's life becomes steeped in gods and spirits the day that Lady Eboshi buys her contract from the brothel Toki is indebted to.
Relationships: Eboshi/Toki (Mononoke-hime)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15
Collections: Discord Community Archive, Yuletide 2020





	Koi No Yokan (Premonition of Love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gramarye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gramarye/gifts).



> _The warning for rape/non-con is for the fact that Toki is a sex worker and the fact she becomes one as a child unable to consent to what's being done to her. There's no graphic description of rape or her sex work_.
> 
> This is for my recip Gramarye! I really hope you like this fic :) I worked hard on it and had a ton of fun thinking up how Toki and Lady Eboshi came to be in Irontown together. Let me know what you think. Happy holidays and/or Merry Christmas! I hope this is a nice gift for you to finish off this chaotic year.

Toki understands from an early age that life isn’t fair or kind. All that is essential to life is power and money. She doesn’t have either one and neither did her parents. It’s why she was sold off to a whorehouse, when she was a young girl, to put food on the table for the rest of her family. 

All she can say for the whorehouse is that Madame treats them like humans not just holes to be fucked. Madame sold off Toki’s first time to the highest bidder and gave her a small container of thick oil. She also gifted her with a bronze dildo.

“Practice putting that inside you, girl. Else you’re liable to bleed all over. We don’t want a mess. Rub that cock and your cunt with the oil first. Makes things easier.” 

It’s a reliable fact that Madame keeps all her girls well supplied in oil to simulate always being wet and ready. The only other thing Toki could say with any true kindness is that Madame made sure that for her first time the buyer didn’t tear her up, that he needed to be gentle. After him, it was up to Toki to handle her clients and their possible aggression in bed. 

The very first night, Madame informed her of the massive debt that chained Toki to this brothel. Hope died in Toki’s heart before Madame even factored in her daily living cost with food, fuel, clothes, the dildo and the oil for sex. 

Toki takes to living in daydreams. No more fucking any man or woman who pays for her cunt. No more sex unless she wants it. A bed to herself and only for her. All the food she can eat. No more secondhand clothes with someone else’s sweat or perfume soaked into them. Most of all? A secure, safe home where she has friends. 

Sure, she’s friendly with her fellow whores, but she’s well aware these bonds are weak. Not to mention, this is no home. This brothel or the street will be her deathbed. But, Toki will fight to survive. She may be stuck here, but she won’t let herself fall into despair. No opium and only modest alcohol. 

One more wish to add to the list. Once she has her own home, Toki will drink whenever she damn well pleases. 

\--

The night that changes Toki’s life begins like any other. She wakes up at dusk to bathe and collect her laundered linen from the washerwoman next door. It is lucky that the brothel is close enough that at least she can have clean clothes whenever she needs them. A shudder runs through Toki at the thought of having to wear grimy clothes for a whole week. At least Madame makes sure they are clean and somewhat well-fed. 

Toki steps out of the entrance of the laundry and sees a gorgeous woman standing in front of the brothel. It’s not often that women come here alone and none were so regal as this stately woman. Toki admires the way this stranger stands tall, her chin raised as she speaks to Madame. _This_ here is someone unbowed by life. It’s clear from her clothes that she has money and with it - power. What happens next leaves Toki’s mouth hanging open. The noble stranger withdraws from her belt a purse bulging with coins and hands it to Madame. Is this beautiful woman with the hard eyes going to be their new Madame? Horror wrings Toki’s stomach. The stranger could be so much worse than their current one. As if she’s summoned their attention with her thoughts, both Madame and the stranger woman notice her. 

Madame gestures sharply for Toki to come over. Toki swallows, taking the ten steps necessary.

“Girl, this woman here has graciously bought all the contracts from me. You listen to her now,” Madame orders. Cold bitch has the money in hand and doesn’t even call Toki by her name. 

The new mistress appears to agree with Toki from the way her lipsticked mouth pinches in response. 

“Go tell the rest of the women I’ve bought their contracts,” she orders Madame. The stranger doesn’t spare Madame a second look before she turns her gaze on Toki. This time though the woman smiles sweetly beckoning Toki over. Toki’s heart is pumping wildly as she moves even closer. 

“Hello, dear, my name is Lady Eboshi. What’s yours?” the woman, named Lady Eboshi, politely asks. Standing this close, Toki can smell woodfire smoke emanating off her. A surprise. Furthering Toki’s opinion that Lady Eboshi is odd, she is wearing a man’s deep red kimono.

“Toki. Are you going to be our new Madame? And why did you buy all our contracts?” she demands to know. If she’s to be a slave under someone else, Toki deserves answers. 

What Toki doesn’t expect is the laughter her questions prompt from Lady Eboshi. Toki may be a whore, but she won’t be laughed at. 

Lady Eboshi shakes her head. “I admire your forthright attitude! But - no, Toki. I’m not your Madame. You’re a free woman. I bought the contracts of all the women here. I offer you, and everyone here, the option to work with me in Tatara.” She pauses, watching Toki’s face for a response. Toki nods, waiting to hear more. She will no longer sell her body, but realistically she has no skills. The best she could do is farming. Lady Eboshi grins, resting her hands on her hips. She is unbothered by Toki’s silence.

“Tatara is a perfectly placed town with huge deposits of iron. The thing is - is that the men of that town are unable to get to it. I will handle those pesky forest spirits and boars. What I need is strong workers to pump the bellows to smelt that iron. This life will not be easy. But you will control your own life, your body, and your own money.” 

This all sounds great but...why? Why does this odd Lady Eboshi want whores to work for her? Why not those men sitting around in Tatara? The fact that she isn’t jumping on Lady Eboshi’s offer without a thought seems to please her. 

“Think about it, Toki. I’ll be at the inn, Gray Swallow. I’m going to make this offer to the rest of the women and then retire for the evening. I will be here for one more night,” Lady Eboshi explains. Toki nods. She will certainly be thinking this over. 

“What about a place to stay? I can’t see my former Madame letting me stay now.” Maybe she shouldn’t be so rude to her savior, but she wants answers. 

“Ah yes, you’re right. I’ll tell her that she can spare everyone lodging for two nights. I can give you all a small bit of money, but after that I am off to Tatara,” Lady Eboshi answers.

It seems a surreal dream that this will be Toki’s last night in this brothel. She doesn’t stay to listen to Lady Eboshi tell her plan to the other women. Instead, Toki lays down on the pallet in her room. She needs to ponder this offer of a new life, a chance to start over.

There have always been rumours of men falling in love with a prostitute and buying her freedom so they can get married. Far more often, from what Toki has seen, these stories are false hope of desperate women trying to believe they’ll escape this life. Hell, she herself wants this fantastical offer to be true. The worse outcome is that Lady Eboshi is a liar buying up her competition’s whores. 

But really what does she have to lose in going with Lady Eboshi to this Tatara? No one in this town will hire a previous prostitute. The worst case is another brothel; the best case is this place called Tatara. Hours later, it still feels odd to her that she’s not working. She will never be a whore again. 

\--

The next morning, Toki heads off to the Gray Swallow with her friend Airi. Unsurprisingly all the other women followed after them. This is a chance of a lifetime. None of them are going to let it pass them by. What surprises Toki even less is Lady Eboshi sitting outside the inn clearly waiting for them. 

They set off with two wagons. The transportation isn’t for them, Toki discovers, but the enormous amount of seeds, infant fruit trees, and guns that Lady Eboshi has with her. All of this is covered by tarps. By the evening time, many of the women are already complaining of sore feet, ankles and legs from the constant walking. This irks her. Lady Eboshi made clear this wouldn’t be a cake walk. They are helping to establish Tatara not going to live a life of leisure. 

Toki’s feet hurt but she’s not going to grumble, at least not within Lady Eboshi’s earshot. Dinner is spare, which prompts even more griping. The loudest complaints are from Sumiko, one of the older women. Admittedly it is a struggle to not lash out at Sumiko’s pitiful whining. She’s never had the patience for grousing. 

On one of the first nights they spend in the wilderness, Sumiko scares them all by screaming when she goes to use the bathroom. Toki grabs the first thing at hand, a rock, and charges into the bushes. Toki is right behind Lady Eboshi with her gun. What they find is Sumiko backed up against a tree, cowering. In front of her is a misshapen little creature. Toki blinks and squints hard at the thing. It’s chalk white all over with an odd shaped head, rounded on top and its chin coming to a sharp point. The rest of its body looks normal enough like a miniature man. 

“Shut up, Sumiko!” Toki yells, cutting through Sumiko’s screaming. It’s obvious the little man creature isn’t doing anything besides staring at Sumiko. The hysterics are unnecessary. 

Lady Eboshi rests her hand on Toki’s shoulder. 

“Toki, be kind. She’s never seen a kodama before. Sumiko - it’s alright. It means no harm.” Lady Eboshi explains to her. Toki nods and moves back towards camp. She doesn’t trust herself not to roll her eyes in view of Sumiko and Lady Eboshi. Sure, the little creature is odd but not _that_ terrifying as to warrant screaming bloody murder. Toki isn’t sure how she’ll get along with all these women once they’re in Tatara. She’ll have to try, of course.

“You’d think they wouldn’t mind this over what the johns wanted,” Toki mutters to Airi, who is a friend of hers. Airi is a sweet woman and an irredeemable gossip. Toki is warming up to her even more as they travel together. Airi has a wonderful ability to find out the juiciest news. 

Airi snorts. “Easier to fuck than to be on the march,” she answers. Toki can’t help the laughter startled out of her. Airi grins, pleased at the reaction. They settle down on their pallets for the night, ready to sleep. Usually Toki likes to talk and gossip with Airi before bed, but tonight she’s exhausted. At least she’s starting to make a close friend on this journey, something she did not have before.

\--

In the morning after a light breakfast, it’s time to pack the bedding and continue the march. Toki hands her bedding over to Lady Eboshi, who is handling the stowing away of the pallets into the wagons. 

Lady Eboshi smiles at her. “How did you sleep, Toki? Are your feet okay?” She asks. Toki nods.

“I slept okay and my feet will toughen up.” Toki answers honestly. There's no point in lying. 

“Good. I’m glad to hear that. Let me know if you need something.”

Toki appreciates Lady Eboshi’s concern. It’s clear that she will do her best to take care of them. Now and in Tatara. This is a good woman to follow.

“Thank you, I will,” Toki replies, moving out of the way for the others behind her. 

Once again, the march lasts all day into the night. They eat lunch on the move, and dinner is their only hot meal. More of the women are groaning over their aches, complaining about their hunger. Toki wonders how many women will melt away at the various villages they pass by.

Lady Eboshi informs them on their fifth day of marching, as they are nearing a village, that anyone who wants to leave may do so.

“I know this hard march isn’t what many of you envisaged, and if anyone leaves I won’t mind. Nor will I look for you, or be hurt if you slip away. But. Don’t think I won’t notice if any of my seedlings, food, or guns go missing,” she warns. It’s the evening before they reach the first outpost village. For once, Toki is looking forward to being back again in civilization. The kodamas have been following their group for days, and rattling their heads constantly. Toki has to swat them away to leave her alone at bedtime. 

Things are normal during dinner and settling in for the night. Toki massages Airi’s feet before bed as she’d noticed her friend limping and wincing earlier in the day.

“How many do you think will leave?” Airi asks lying on her back, braiding her own hair as Toki massages her feet and ankles. The whole group had washed in a stream after dinner. A bath is such a refreshment, even a cold one. 

Toki shrugs. “I’ll be back shocked if Sumiko stays. I’d guess a good portion will stay because of the money promised. What other skills do they have, besides fucking?”

Airi sighs with a nod. Something is off. Usually Airi would have made a snarky remark in response. Toki lightly squeezes Airi’s foot. 

“Are you thinking of leaving? We haven’t even started the hard work!” Toki admonishes. Maybe she should be more gentle, like Lady Eboshi, but that’s not her way of speaking.

This gets her a grimace and a shrug from Airi as she crosses her arms.

“What if I can’t do that hard work with the bellows? Will I just become a whore sooner at a village, or later at Tatara?” Airi demands, becoming angry.

“Then Lady Eboshi will find other work for you! I’ll tell her that we need a school! For us and future kids. She bought up our contracts at the brothel, Airi. She’ll work with us.” Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Toki knows this. She’ll go find Lady Eboshi now to discuss this. If this woman was willing to spend such a large amount of money just to free them, Toki is willing to bet she will be open to educating them. 

Airi snorts. She's looking at Toki fondly, some of her anger melting.

“You’re a spitfire, Toki.” 

It takes Toki a few minutes to find Lady Eboshi as she’s not in the camp but, further into the woods, where the weapons are stowed in the wagons.

It comes as a shock to discover there are _people_ stowed in the wagons. Toki gapes at people wrapped in bandages wriggling out from under the tarps that the seeds and guns are laying on top of. Now that the bedding has been removed, Toki can see that the wagons have two tiers. Lady Eboshi's supplies rest on a false bottom while these people ride in a compartment underneath.. So this is how she’s been transporting this entire other group!

What is more - 

They are _lepers_. 

Toki’s stomach twists painfully. All the bedding has been stowed in the wagons with those lepers. She’s been sleeping on linens likely touched by them.

“My Lady!” A man’s scared voice startles Toki. It is no surprise that they finally notice her standing there in the bushes, staring at them. 

Lady Eboshi snaps around to where the man is pointing, and pulls her gun to her side. She recognizes Toki at once, but instead of reacting with anger, she sighs and beckons Toki over to her. Toki’s nerves are buzzing, her fingertips tingling. This is a secret that she is certainly not supposed to have seen. What surprises her further is when Lady Eboshi smiles at her. Despite being on the march, Lady Eboshi still looks pristine and beautiful. On the other hand, Toki looks like she how she feels. Footsore, disheveled and exhausted.

“Hello, Toki. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. I knew the cat would get out of the bag eventually. I’m just surprised it took so long.” 

At a loss for words, Toki just nods. Lady Eboshi sighs at her silence, her shoulders slumping.

“You are safe. There is no contagion. What afflicts them is poverty, and how disease loves to fell those who are powerless to stop its ravages.” A look around at the gathered lepers tells Toki they are ill indeed. They move in pairs supporting one another, walking stiffly to stretch their limbs and use the bathroom further into the trees. Toki is glad that they’re wearing bandages to cover their misshapen bodies. 

“What are you planning to have them do? The men of Tatara won’t work with them, nor will we on the bellows.” 

Lady Eboshi gives her a smile, although it barely lifts the corners of her lips nor touches her eyes. Heat burns Toki’s face. She recognizes disappointment.

“No need to worry, Toki. I’ll have them making guns in secret, once Tatara is producing enough surplus. I want all the women to be able to defend themselves. This is not an easy, comfortable place we are going to be living in, but this is all I can offer. If you wouldn’t be comfortable knowing they will be living in secrecy in the town I don’t fault you. But.” Here her eyes sharpen. “I expect you to not give away my closest secret.”

Shame has Toki squirming in discomfort. Here Lady Eboshi has taken on two groups of people shunned by society. Whores and lepers. There are plenty of people who would not want whores to touch them or their things. It’s cruel for her to inflict that shame on them as well. 

“I’m sorry - that was rude of me. You save us and I turn around to complain,” Toki apologizes. She should be grateful and she is - but knowing lepers are in their company has her skin crawling. 

“I understand your discomfort Toki, I do. Why else do you think I’m making these poor people ride in secrecy? But what is it you needed? I guess you were wanting to discuss something with me?” 

“I wanted to ask if you will set up a school for the women. We don’t know how to read, and I know not all the women know their numbers.” 

This time the smile Lady Eboshi gives Toki is warm.

“You’re a forward-thinker. I appreciate that. Yes, that can be arranged once Tatara begins to make money. In return, if you can get over your aversion, I would be proud to have you as my second in command. I need a strong woman who is willing to lead when I’m not there. You’ve proven to me, in a short time, that you aren’t bullied into things or a fool. The men will have the formal titles of power, but I will have all listen to _you_ alone when I am not there.” 

For a moment, all Toki can do is blink with her mouth hanging open. She’s hardly interacted with this woman, and Lady Eboshi is already favoring Toki with a possible position of power? Clearly this woman is far stranger than just wearing masculine clothing and buying prostitutes’ contracts.

Lady Eboshi giggles as if Toki’s shock is funny.

“You think me crazy, but I promise I’m not. I know very well your woes. I was sold as a slave to pirates. Used as a whore, washer woman and deckhand. My husband was the one who pulled me from that mire. One learns quickly to pluck up intelligence and compassion. You have both, Toki, and I want you to be my right hand woman.” 

Toki finds herself agreeing despite her initial reaction of revulsion to the lepers. She would be a stupid fool to turn down a position of power. She may not understand Lady Eboshi’s odd empathy for outcasts, but it’s because of that she has saved their lives from pain and despair. 

“Thank you, Lady Eboshi. I won’t let you down,” Toki promises.

\--

The first time they, as a group, experience frightening forest spirits is in the form of ape spirits; their bloody red eyes glistening in the blackness of night. Unlike the sweet silent kodamas, the apes are noisy and aggressive. It is the apes who scare them all from their sleep. They are only a few hours from Tatara. However the women are too footsore to continue on and finish the last miles. 

“Go! Go away humans!” 

“Not wanted! Go!” 

The warped voices shout from the tree tops. Screams emanate from the women as sticks and stones are pelted at them. Toki admits she startles awake with a yell herself when a rock knocks against her head.

“Be gone!” Lady Eboshi yells. She wastes no time in firing off her gun into the treetops. The boom of the gun scares those who weren’t expecting it, raising more screams. One shot is all it takes for the ape spirits to take flight. Gathering her wits, Toki gets up off her pallet, and she walks among the group making sure no one got seriously injured from this surprise attack. Thankfully there are only minor cuts and bruises.

After they both have circled the camp, checking on the others, Toki meets with Lady Eboshi.

“What are those things that attacked us?” Toki asks, eyeing the treetops. She doesn’t trust that those monsters won’t come back. 

“Those, my dear, are ape spirits. They defend the forest in this area. They don’t like that the men have been tearing up the trees. We’re quite lucky the boars haven’t come for us. We’d all be dead then. Tomorrow we will march straight to Tatara without stopping.”

This statement startles Toki as she’d never given thought as to whether the spirits that roam this earth are sentient or not, let alone malicious. Honestly, before this journey, she’d seen the belief in spirits, gods, and the like, as only for superstitious peasants wanting to blame anything for their ill-luck and bad harvests. A shiver creeps over her. Whatever she’s gotten herself into is far more ominous and ferocious than what she realized. She hopes Lady Eboshi knows what she’s taking on in regards to the spirits in this area.

\--

Tatara is not...quite what Toki is expecting. Granted, she knows nothing about iron or how to process it. What she doesn’t expect is to be plopped into the middle of untamed wilderness. Enormous trees blanket the land as far as the eye can see. Tatara, itself, is situated in the bottom of a valley. It sits on a spit of land, nearly an island, within the lake that surrounds it. 

The inside of Tatara is as austere as the outside. Huge wood logs, sharpened to points, fortify the barrier around the town. The first night is unnerving as the men leer at their group, with Lady Eboshi at the head of their column of women and wagons. 

“Who are you?” A large, blocky-headed man shouts down from the top of a wood fortress wall. Men crowd the ramparts and stare down at them in the falling light of dusk. Toki glances at the horizon, an unease creeping over her. She isn’t sure which is worse: walking into a town full of men, or spending another night at the mercy of the angry ape spirits. At least the apes have no cocks with which to rape them. 

A glance at Lady Eboshi's amused smile informs Toki that she is unbothered by the brusque attitude of the lead man or the advancing darkness. The other women fidget, both drawing closer to each other and trying to get further from the forest and closer to the town. 

“I am your savior! I’ve brought guns for the men in order to kill the boars that roam these forests, killing your people. I know Tatara is failing as it’s unable to get to the iron deposits. Let us in, and I will soon make this town prosper!” Lady Eboshi calls up. Her voice rings in the quiet night air. 

It speaks to how desperate these men must be that they open the gates quite willingly. 

\--

Adjusting to Tatara is difficult at first. Namely the endless, mind numbing work of pumping the bellows. The work is hard. Every night, Toki returns to her sleeping quarters drenched all over with sweat. She knows this work will become easier, that her body will adjust to the strain on it. Still, every night she collapses onto her pallet, exhausted.

The bellows is a never-ending job that needs fuel constantly. The see-sawing floor platform that they push up and down for hours at a time tightens up their legs from soft plush thighs and calves to muscular, shapely legs. In fact, their whole bodies become toned from the exercise of holding onto the ropes above their head in order to keep rhythm with each other as they pump the platform below with their feet. 

The mindless work of the furnace is easier to tolerate than the men who accost them. A few of the brutes think they can bully their way into the women’s pallets. Toki calls a meeting when Airi reveals this news to her. This behavior is unacceptable and something needs to be done. She has a hunch that none of the women have approached Lady Eboshi, scared of the consequences, not for the men, but for themselves. They won’t be able to thrive if they’re having to fight off the men and the forest beasts, while also fueling the furnace to smelt the iron ore. It’s time something is done. 

Stupid men, assuming any of the women will lay down just because it is asked or demanded. Once a whore always a whore in their minds. Disgust curls Toki’s lip as she heads to the sleeping huts used by their group. Lady Eboshi does her best to keep the men in line, but Toki knows if the men are to understand this rule, the women must set and enforce the boundaries.

The issue has already been nagging Toki for the past couple weeks with the men leering and propositioning their group. They need to establish boundaries. What is most dear to Toki in these matters is asserting consent and protections against pregnancy. No doubt there are women who want children; however, she wants to be ready for those who don’t want any, or at least, not right now.

“Come on girls! We have to stand up for ourselves!” Toki urges them. They are gathered in their longhouse quarters. This serves both as eating and sleeping quarters. 

Right now it’s dinner time for their group from the bellows.

Her group looks up at her with tired eyes and slumped shoulders. They aren’t interested. The women want food and to go to bed. 

“We need to set rules and put consequences in place for everyone. We’re not in the brothels anymore. You _know_ Lady Eboshi will support us. She didn’t bring us here to make us miserable.” 

“Yeah? Then why are we toiling away our days at the bellows? I don’t want to be chained to that thing forever,” Kiki calls out. Many of the group nod at her words. Clearly, she’s struck a chord. 

Toki bites her lip, hands on her hips. What Kiki says is true. Right now the bellows are the _only_ thing they work on in regards to the processing of iron.

“Then we’ll tell Lady Eboshi that we want different jobs. Join the men on whatever job, work hard, and ignore their whining because you know they will.” Toki answers. She doesn’t want to pit the men against Lady Eboshi but she’s their strongest and only ally currently. 

The women nod, seeming satisfied with Toki’s plan. Toki settles next to Airi who smiles at her. Who knew being the leader would suit her so well?

“Lady Eboshi!” Yumi gasps, pointing to the open doorway. All heads turn to see that yes, in fact, Lady Eboshi is there. She grins at them, looking beautiful and put together in her masculine kimono. She still wears it elegantly. 

“How are you ladies tonight? I thought I’d drop in for dinner. I brought a bit of sake.” Lady Eboshi says, and her words are greeted with cheers. It's a pleasant surprise although it shouldn’t be. During the two months they’ve been living in Tatara, Lady Eboshi has been conscientious in checking in on them and dropping in for dinner once every other week. She knows how to keep morale up, that’s for sure.

“Any news for me? Is there anything you girls need? Don’t be shy. Tell me or I won’t know what to help you with.” 

Lady Eboshi gazes around them all expectantly.

“We want more jobs than just in the bellows. Cooks, caring for the oxen, anything!” Kiki speaks up into the silence. Lady Eboshi’s eyes twinkle as if she’s been waiting for this exact request. 

“I absolutely agree with you on that matter, Kiki. I need my people to be diverse in their jobs. Let me talk with the men and I’ll figure out an agreement with them. I also have some good news of my own for you all. I’ve found a teacher for the school! They will be here in a month. It’s your hard work that has made us all so profitable. All of you certainly earned your teacher.” 

\--

The distance that opens up between Lady Eboshi and Toki should be of no surprise now that they’re in Tatara. No time for idle talks by the supply wagons during the night or while on the march. No, now Lady Eboshi must turn her focus to leading Tatara, cementing her authority with all, making sure that she is not to be questioned. 

So it’s a surprise when a couple months into settling down that one morning Airi beckons Toki to come with her. It’s right as Toki’s shift at the bellow is ending in the early dawn hours. She’s tired but no longer exhausted to the point of mindlessness. She’s surprised to see Airi up so early in the morning. Lady Eboshi rarely wakes before ten am and therefore Airi, as her messenger and errand girl, is rarely seen about the town until that time as well. The fact Airi landed the job makes Toki only a little jealous. Now Airi gets to interact regularly with Lady Eboshi. In reality Toki knows she wouldn’t have done well in that position as her reading and arithmetic are not up to par to be a messenger. 

“Toki! Lady Eboshi would like to see you,” Airi calls out, gesturing Toki over. A few of the women glance over in interest but most are ready for breakfast and bed. Toki veers from the group to Airi’s side who is far too awake for the early hour. 

“Did she say what for?” Toki asks, raising a brow in question. This gets a shrug from Airi however the sly smile on her face gives away she’s hiding something about this meeting. 

“Something about breakfast,” Airi answers, her nonchalance obviously false. Toki gives her a flat look. She can tell when Airi is messing with her or pretending to keep a secret. Granted, it must not be anything serious if Airi is teasing her so much. The lack of response to her bait has Airi rolling her eyes with a sigh. “She misses you, Toki! And I know _you_ miss Lady Eboshi. You two became inseparable on our march here. She tries to be casual, but she asks me about you almost every day!”

This has Toki shaking her head, because that can’t be true, but she can’t deny that she does miss their talks. It’s rather flattering that Lady Eboshi feels the same way and that she’s now invited her to breakfast. 

Quickly enough they arrive at Lady Eboshi’s house. Behind it is her walled garden and set at the back against the barrier wall is the leper hut. No one knows the lepers are there besides Toki. Lady Eboshi made it clear on day one that she would tolerate no intruders. 

What further surprises Toki is the fact that Lady Eboshi has breakfast ready for them in her bedroom. Airi gives Toki a knowing look before bowing and leaving. Lady Eboshi is settled at the table gesturing for Toki to join her on the cushion next to her. She settles on the cushion and is surprised to see the food on the table is much the same as what the rest of them eat. For some reason, Toki assumed Lady Eboshi’s diet would be refined and full of delicacies reserved for those in power now that she is the leader of Tatara. It’s rather reassuring that she hasn’t changed from on the march. She’s not put on airs or become haughty with any of them now that she runs everything. Even her room isn’t stuffed with luxuries. The only item Toki would consider opulent is her bedding and blankets. 

The startling part is seeing Lady Eboshi bare-faced without her lipstick. For some reason seeing her like this feels near revealing of something, but Toki isn’t quite sure what that is. Lady Eboshi smiles at her watching Toki take this all in. 

“How’ve you been, Toki? I’m sorry to say I don’t see you as often as I would like to these days. I figured breakfast was a good time to catch you.” Lady Eboshi apologizes as she picks from the dishes what she wants. 

Toki shakes her head. “It’s alright, I’ve been getting used to working and school. My writing is getting better,” she answers as she helps herself to some of the food. Out of the corner of her eye, Toki watches Lady Eboshi eat. This doesn’t get by Lady Eboshi, who smiles in return. The blush that burns Toki’s face embarrasses her, why is she feeling shy _now_? 

A giggle from Lady Eboshi makes the blush worse. “I’m very glad to hear you’re making progress in school. If I’m honest, I miss our talks, Toki. Please, would you come to see me when you’re able to? I’d like to show you my garden and spend more time with you.” The forthright honesty surprises Toki. Never before has anyone ever told Toki that they miss her let alone want to spend _more_ time with her. It’s rather sweet. 

“Me, my lady? I - I’m flattered.” Toki grins self-consciously. She adjusts her headscarf making sure her sweaty hair is tucked out of sight. Even Lady Eboshi’s messy, tangled hair is beautiful. “I’ll try not to bore you too much then.” 

This time it’s Lady Eboshi’s turn to shake her head. “Dear Toki, you won’t ever bore me, I promise you that.” 

\--

If Toki is completely truthful at first it’s a bit nerve-wracking to have Lady Eboshi want to spend time with her. All her life most of the men and women she’s interacted with, outside of fellow whores, wanted sex from her, not her time, attention, or conversation, let alone love and affection. She is ashamed that it takes her a little while to truly believe that Lady Eboshi wants her companionship. She’s not wooing Toki into bed but aiming for Toki’s love and devotion. Logically Toki knows this, but it’s a whole different beast to try changing habitual ways of thinking. 

It’s a late night and rain is pouring down when Toki makes up her mind she’ll stay the night. They are both done with work, lounging on cushions around her table, snacking and talking. 

This is Toki’s first time deciding to spend the night with Lady Eboshi as she’s always returned to her sleeping lodge with the other women. Despite the fact that Lady Eboshi has never pushed for sex, still the assumed expectation has Toki antsy about staying overnight. However, tonight she wants to try at the very least. 

“I’ll stay the night, since it’s raining, but there will likely be no sex.” Toki states as dusk falls, her usual time to leave passing. Guilt and embarrassment hit her when Lady Eboshi nods, not at all upset at her blunt words. Great, she overreacted and now Lady Eboshi will think Toki is frigid. A cold sweat flashes over her upon stepping into the room. She stops in the doorway watching her lover sit down at her vanity. “I mean it’s just - that I’m not sure I’m ready for sex. Tonight. But eventually,” she amends, cringing at how clumsy her words sound. Lady Eboshi smiles sweetly with a nod watching her through the mirror. 

“Toki, my love.” Her first _endearment_. “You may have sex with me or not whenever you’re ready. What’s been on my mind is when I may kiss you. I haven’t wanted to push, however, I admit to very much wanting to. Kisses are for only when you want them though.” Lady Eboshi answers as she begins to pull the pins from her hair.

Toki waits another moment in the doorway before she enters the bedroom. Really, there’s no reason for her to be intimidated. It isn’t like she’s never been in a bedroom before. Hell it’s how she used to make her living, so being here with a woman she trusts shouldn’t be so difficult. 

The truth of the matter is the thought of getting into bed with Lady Eboshi is intimidating. Different from how Toki used to evaluate the clients coming into her bed. Scanning their faces and body language so she knew what usually to expect. Here, now, Toki finds that difficult because Lady Eboshi has been honest with her but the instinctive suspicion still lingers.

“Love, would it be alright if I stroked your face? You seem tense...” Lady Eboshi asks with those clever eyes of hers watching Toki from the vanity mirror. A blush heats Toki’s skin. It’s embarrassing how seemingly obvious her discomfort is. The last thing she wants is for Lady Eboshi to think Toki has discomfort towards her as a lover and as a person. 

Behind the dressing screen, Toki slips into the one of the yukata Lady Eboshi always sets out when she comes to visit in the evenings. Her heart pumping in her chest, Toki carefully lays herself down on the shikibuton glad for the cool breeze of the rainy night through the slightly cracked door. The breeze helps cool her nerves from spiking too much. It’s fine, there’s nothing to be scared of, Lady Eboshi won’t take advantage of her. 

Dressed in her own yukata, Lady Eboshi lays herself down beside Toki, reaching out and stroking Toki’s face from her left temple down to her jaw. Toki is surprised to discover that Lady’s Eboshi’s fingers are not calloused despite her constant handling of guns. No, they are soft and dry as she traces her fingertips over Toki’s cheeks, her forehead, her nose. Without meaning to Toki’s eyes begin to slide closed, taking in the loving touch. This is okay, this is _enjoyable_ in fact. There’s gentle pressure as Lady Eboshi strokes her thumb along Toki’s eyebrows. The firm steady pressure makes Toki shiver at the sensation. Now this sort of attention she is comfortable with, something that she will without a doubt ask for more of. 

“My husband used to do this for me,” Lady Eboshi murmurs her voice barely raised above the sound of the rain pouring down outside. Normally Toki would open her eyes at such a revealing fact, but for some reason her eyelids feel too heavy as her lover ever so lightly strokes her thumb over Toki’s eyelids. “It was after he died that I left the pirating life. I was wealthy, but what was the point when I saw so much suffering, and all the worse from the hands of my own men? All I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that I wanted to save those who were used and abused as I had been when I was abducted by an initial pirating crew. If you can believe it, love, I was an artisan’s daughter. My entire family, as I recall, specialized in making kimono.” Here she pauses in caressing Toki’s face to press her face to Toki’s chest wrapping her arm around Toki’s waist. Toki blinks, struggling against the drowsiness that’s taken over her. Never before has Lady Eboshi ever been this physically affectionate with her. Carefully Toki cradles the back of Lady Eboshi’s head lightly scratching her scalp in comfort. How smooth and silky her inky black hair is between her fingers.

“Are you alright, my lady? You don’t have to keep telling me this if you don’t want to.” Toki reassures her, concerned that perhaps Lady Eboshi thinks she has to finish this clearly difficult tale. 

“Forgive me. I...didn’t think I would get overwhelmed telling it.” Lady Eboshi gives a mumbled scoff, her face still resting on Toki’s breasts. If nothing else, Toki finds the weight comforting to be honest. “Quite different to explain my life to convince fellow prostitutes and lepers to hear me out. It’s another to tell you, someone I love. I find I want to...make my life’s story cleaner, happier. Pity from you, no matter how well meant, would be awful.” 

Gently, Toki nudges Lady Eboshi to look up at her. A shock to find Lady’s Eboshi’s face is blotchy as if she’s going to cry. Never before has Toki seen this display of emotion on her face.

“I don’t pity you, my lady. I’m angry you ever had to experience what you did, that life and people were cruel to you, but I don't feel pity. How can I, when you strove to be kind to others who are spit on? I love the generosity and the empathy you give everyday. I love you for all of you. Flaws and all.” 

The confession pops out of her mouth without her thinking. However, it doesn’t make her words any less truthful. She does love Lady Eboshi for all that she is. A tremulous smile wavers on Lady Eboshi’s lips before she’s burying her face back into Toki’s breasts. 

“You’re too sweet, Toki. I’m very lucky to have you. One of the reasons I love you too.” 

\--

Toki and Lady Eboshi are not the only ones to find love. Some of the other women contemplate marriage, while others prepare to have children. 

The first marriage to happen is a town-wide celebration. Everyone gets in on the partying, the revels lasting for two days. It’s the first time Toki sees Lady Eboshi in a festive mood, relaxed and carefree. No doubt the seemingly endless supply of sake helps that attitude. 

In fact, Lady Eboshi lets down her hair for this event, and Toki is stunned by her beauty all over again. The gentle cascade of her long deep black hair gives Lady Eboshi a very feminine, soft look. Truth be told, it’s still a little startling to see her this way. She calls for Toki, before the wedding itself, to help her brush her hair out. 

“No matter if I tie it up, it still gets dreadful knots in it. I also hate brushing it out because of the knots.” Lady Eboshi laughs as she shakes her hair free after untying the ribbon and taking out the pins. A waft of soft floral soap scent rolls over Toki. She loves that fragrance. What she loves more is the sweet rumpled look to Lady Eboshi.

Toki settles on a cushion behind Lady Eboshi and gently grasps Lady Eboshi's hair into a makeshift ponytail. She starts brushing from the bottom up. Lady Eboshi sighs, tilting her head back. Toki’s mouth feels dry as cotton from nerves. Why she’s nervous around her lover is confusing. Perhaps because she looks shabby beside Lady Eboshi’s fine clothes and expensive perfume? 

“You’re so quiet, Toki. Are you not in the mood for the wedding? Don’t worry, no one will miss out. We’ll have another day to party tomorrow evening for the women who are working tonight to join in.” Lady Eboshi asks, glancing over her shoulder at her. 

Toki shakes her head. “I am. Maybe you’ve never brushed a beautiful woman’s hair, but it’s nerve-wracking. And...being next to a beautiful woman it’s hard not to compare yourself.” A grin curls Lady Eboshi’s lips upon hearing that. Butterflies rage in Toki’s chest at the expression. 

“Why Toki if you ever let down your hair I would have the privilege of knowing,” Lady Eboshi teases. Toki can’t help the embarrassed laugh that escapes her. In no way would she count herself as beautiful.

“Maybe this evening once I’ve been wined and dined,” Toki rejoins. Much as she admires Lady Eboshi, she isn’t going to lay down in a flash. She wants there to be more between them. 

“Of course, my dear. I love wooing and you deserve all the wooing you can handle if that’s something you’d want from me?”

A blush warms Toki’s face as she nods. She would very much enjoy whatever her lover has in mind. Lady Eboshi giggles and falls quiet until Toki finishes brushing her hair. 

“I look forward to whatever you have planned,” Toki murmurs, smiling as she watches Lady Eboshi now carefully applying her makeup. Lady Eboshi smiles back at Toki, before beckoning her closer. 

“I’ll gladly give you a taste if you’d like. A kiss to start off with,” Lady Eboshi offers. Toki laughs, leans in and presses a light kiss to her lips. “Now come here. Let me put just the lightest touch of make-up on you. I never want you to feel like you are any less in beauty, my love. Besides, there is more to a lifelong companion than just a lovely face.”

Later that night, so late it’s early morning, Lady Eboshi keeps her promise of wooing. Toki lets down her hair in return. 

They end up in Lady Eboshi’s home as the dawn starts to rise and the revelers trickle home, if they’re not already passed out along the road. Toki giggles at the sight. Normally, Lady Eboshi would not allow for this public display of drunken behavior, but this is a special occasion! A wedding!

Toki lets her lover guide her into the bedroom and easily slips off her day clothes for the yakuta given to her. She knows where this is going as Lady Eboshi herself has gotten naked and not bothered to put anything else on. 

Perhaps it shouldn’t surprise Toki that normal, _for pleasure_ , sex is going to be something she’s going to have to learn after her life as a prostitute. All she’s ever known is being paid for various acts, that there is no love involved in the transactions, nor is her pleasure the priority of the encounters (or at least not often). It’s not that every encounter was awful or painful, she’s had a few enjoyable clients, but the other mood and purpose was not one of having a love connection paired with physical intimacy. 

The first time Lady Eboshi begins caressing her as they lay in bed Toki doesn’t think twice about the fact that she becomes tunnel visioned on making Lady Eboshi feel good. She doesn’t take into consideration that Lady Eboshi’s touches and kisses are meant for Toki as much as for herself. Quite naturally her mind jumps to working on how to best please her lover and to get her off. 

“Toki?” Lady Eboshi’s voice is soft but still has Toki looking up at her, concentration broken. She’d been playing with Lady Eboshi’s breasts and nipples trying to gauge from her reaction if she liked it. 

“Yes? I’m not hurting you, am I?” Toki asks, concerned. The last thing she wants is for Lady Eboshi to not enjoy herself. Lady Eboshi chuckles, shaking her head. 

“No, love. Not at all, I’m fine. But...you don’t seem like you’re having fun. You seem very focused,” Lady Eboshi carefully explains. 

It takes Toki a moment to parse what Lady Eboshi is trying to say. “You mean it’s like I’m working.” She states, tone flat. Embarrassment stings her pride as she pulls back from her lover. She didn’t realize she seemed so unenthused in bed. Here all these years, Toki thought she’d figured out how to become a good actress. 

But Lady Eboshi won’t let her pull away. Instead she draws Toki into her arms, the soft warm press of her breasts against Toki’s own, is soothing. 

“I didn’t mean that as an insult, Toki. But what I want is for you to find pleasure in what we’re doing. Sex isn’t meant to be one-sided in that regard. It isn’t as special if it feels like all you’re doing is trying to bring me to orgasm and neglecting yourself. Lay back and let me show you.” Lady Eboshi persuades, kissing Toki on the lips. She wants to say no, that she’s fine, she doesn’t need to orgasm to find pleasure in their intimacy, but Toki decides to go along with this. What woman in her right mind would turn down a thoughtful lover who wants to take their time pleasuring their partner? 

Toki returns Lady Eboshi’s kisses, taking her time to savor the sensation. Finally she lays herself down on the futon allowing her yukata to slip open and reveal her nakedness. For some reason, she has a hard time meeting Lady Eboshi’s eyes as her lover gazes upon her. It is a rather new feeling, being self-conscious of her nudity and her body. 

Lady Eboshi admires her, gently holding and caressing Toki’s breasts in her hands. 

“Talk to me, Toki, at any point. Tonight I think kissing and fondling will be enough. You’re too stuck in service mode with sex and I don’t want that.” She leans in close to Toki lightly grazing her teeth over Toki’s left earlobe, warmth blooming low in Toki’s stomach at that. Tonight is just for taking in what her lover has to give.

\--

Relearning sex with a whole new level of intimacy and love takes time and a surprising amount of patience, Toki is discovering. Admittedly, Toki finds herself falling back into bad habits in becoming focused on only Lady Eboshi when they’re in bed, however, little by little she’s able to focus own her own satisfaction in both foreplay and sex. A slow process for sure and one that Lady Eboshi never tires of working with her on. Dare Toki say that her generous lover seems quite _enthusiastic_ about the chance of getting to help Toki focus on reveling in the good sensations and figuring out what is and isn’t pleasurable for her. She is forever grateful and very appreciative of this loving, gentle eagerness from Lady Eboshi.

\--

Toki finds herself spending more and more time with Lady Eboshi as the days go by. She finds her day doesn’t feel quite as good when she’s unable to see her significant other for one reason or another. It seems Lady Eboshi feels the same for more often now she drops by the furnace when Toki is working to say hello to her along with the other women. The best nights are when Lady Eboshi stays for a few hours to watch or even help out smiling as she takes her turn at the bellow platform. The love and devotion Lady Eboshi inspires in them all is amazing. 

Lady Eboshi’s best quality as a leader is the way she’s able to connect with all of her people. Toki loves to watch her at work as she takes time from her day to visit various parts of Tatara in turn. Such closeness breeds love, loyalty, and devotion from all who she comes into contact with. The negative side is that Lady Eboshi’s close presence means that she also exposes herself when sickness rampages through the village. 

No surprise then that Lady Eboshi would fall ill at some point. Sickness spreads like wildfire through Tatara, no matter how much they try to prevent contagion with various hygienic practices.

Eventually, even Lady Eboshi succumbs to the general malady affecting everyone. Fever, chills, sore body and bouts of puking. Toki feels lucky to have been one of the first to come down with the sickness. By the time others are falling ill, she’s back on her feet and caring for the others. With so many sick people, it means those who are healthy must pull longer shifts in all their jobs, especially the bellows, to make up for the depleted workforce. 

The news of her lover’s sickness reaches Toki the day Lady Eboshi withdraws to her rooms. Lady Eboshi is too ill to lead the monthly caravan to the city, a week’s fast march away. It goes without saying that _someone_ must lead. The caravan brings iron bars and bullets to the city and food staples to Tatara. Much as she doesn’t want to leave her sweetheart in her current state, Toki leads the caravan. Airi reassures her many times things will be fine. Lady Eboshi won’t even let Toki in to say goodbye, citing possible contagion.

So Toki must say goodbye to her through the closed window of Lady Eboshi’s bedroom.

“I love you,” Toki calls softly up to the shuttered window. For fear of contagion, she has been wearing a cloth mask since she’s been caring for those struck down by the illness. Even now she wears it, scared to pass on something worse to her lover. 

Lady Eboshi’s voice is weak but firm. “I love you, Toki. Now go lead the men. They need you more than the oxen do.” Toki laughs. Her sweetheart still manages to retain her sense of humor. 

\--

The two week journey drags, but finally Toki is home with the supplies, and at once she heads for Lady Eboshi’s home. 

Tragedy and horror struck in the forms of the wolf god, Moro, and her cubs who had attacked the caravan as they always did. Toki did her best to frighten them away with the guns the lepers built. Unfortunately, neither the men’s aim, nor hers was good enough to hit the fast moving creatures. The wolves took out a quarter of the caravan before disappearing. No doubt to eat the corpses of the oxen and guards that had fallen over the cliff. The grief and hatred weigh on her. Now she must speak to her women and explain why their sons, their husbands, their lovers, will not be coming to their beds ever again. It was a hit to their food supply as well. Lady Eboshi must wait until after she delivered this heartbreaking news.

Night has fallen by the time Toki is able to make her way to Lady Eboshi. Wails, sobs and screams rent the air behind her from the longhouses where she’s spent the past hours telling everyone the news. Her eyes are aching and puffy from crying with her fellow women and the men. This isn’t what she wanted to do when she returned home with the caravan, but with that damnable Moro and her pups around the death of their village’s men is inevitable each and every time. Burning, bubbling rage sears Toki’s chest. How she hopes that Lady Eboshi will one day manage to kill Moro, her pups and that awful wolf-girl too. Until then, they will know no peace from death and grief. 

She meets Airi out on the steps of Lady Eboshi’s home as she’s sweeping the steps free of soot and dirt. Airi smiles sadly, opening her arms for a hug. Toki squeezes her tight even as she looks for Lady Eboshi. 

“You did the best you could, Toki. Lady Eboshi trusts you and she knows you wouldn’t just give up at the sight of the wolves either. Anyways, she’s soaking in the bath. She told me she’d like company if you’re back in time,” Airi informs her with a wink as they pull back from their hug. Despite all the fucking she’s done in her life, Toki still blushes at Airi’s teasing. This sweet love with Lady Eboshi is a sensitive spot for her. She hugs Airi once more before hurrying to the bathing house. 

Sure enough, her beautiful lover is soaking in a bath. 

Lady Eboshi grins, beckoning her over. Toki is quick to obey and kisses Lady Eboshi as she disrobes. A bath is much coveted after the march and the grieving she has been enveloped by.

“Are you feeling better? I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of you this time,” Toki says, stroking Lady Eboshi’s cheek, dropping one more kiss on her lips. She settles on the bathing stool, pouring a cup of warmed water over her back, wiping herself down with a cloth, before soaping up and washing herself off again. Lady Eboshi watches Toki bathe with her eyes half-closed, and her lips forming a small smile.

“I am. Still weak but much better now that you’re home. Airi did a fine job though. Of course, my hidden treasures kept me company during the night so I was never alone, never worry, my love,” Lady Eboshi soothes. “How was the caravan?” she asks, her gaze searching for the truth. 

Toki swallows hard before meeting her lover’s eyes. “We lost a quarter of the men and food. Damned Moro and her cubs with that horrible human. I spoke to the women when we came home, but I know they’ll want to speak to you.” 

Lady Eboshi nods solemnly. “Of course, I will. Please let them know I will see them soon, but for now come join me. I’ve missed you.” 

For the moment, Toki puts aside her grief and eagerly joins her, moving from the bathing stool into the tub. There will be time enough to mourn at the funerals tomorrow. Tonight, she wants to be focused only on her sweetheart to soothe away her own pain.

She spends a few long moments caressing Lady Eboshi’s smooth, soft breasts and kissing them. Lady Eboshi happily sighs, winding Toki’s hair around her fingers, her touch alternating between gently pulling and caressing. A low pulse of desire has Toki’s cunt tightening in anticipation. If her lover is feeling strong enough for sex, this bath won’t last long. 

“I see you’re ready for bed far more than a bath.” Lady Eboshi giggles, seeming pleased at this assessment. Toki nods.

“I am, but only if you’re up to it. I can take care of myself otherwise.” Lady Eboshi takes stock of herself for a moment. 

“I might not be able to go as long as we like but let’s get dressed and find out,” she says with a grin, leaning over to kiss Toki. 

\--

The argument starts the next day. 

“Lady Eboshi! It’s one thing to go after Moro and her cubs - which is still far too dangerous! But now you’re going after the Forest God? Are you insane? You’re going after the God of Life and Death,” Toki yelps. They are having dinner in Lady Eboshi’s walled garden. Tonight Toki had joined Lady Eboshi in visiting the lepers to check on them and the guns they were always working to make lighter. 

This outburst gets her a raised eyebrow from Lady Eboshi who takes a sip of her sake. The look angers Toki. How can she not be taking this horrible risk seriously? What Lady Eboshi plans to do is not in the realm of fending of enormous wolves from their supply train or even fending off the clumsy, bold assassination attempts from a feral young woman. A suicide attempt is what this is and for what? The knowledge of having killed a god? 

“Toki, you must realize that this Forest God is the one preventing us from expanding. As long as this thing is alive, the forest and the various spirits and gods will continue to fight us. They will continue to kill our men. Tatara will be unable to support itself for long if we remain confined within our walls.” Lady Eboshi replies calm and cool as if this goal is nothing but finding more living space. 

“You’re not listening! Why can’t we figure out something else without resorting to - to something so stupid?! The men with your guns have killed off the boars around here. You killed the boar God Nago and now we have the run of the mountains around us!” 

The small raise of Lady Eboshi’s chin immediately informs Toki that she won’t back down from this plan she’s decided on. Toki near grinds her teeth in frustration.

“I am listening, love. But you don’t understand. Delivering this Forest God’s head will grant us immunity from the warring samurai lords I know you’re aware of. Aren’t you tired of the constant harassment?”

Toki crosses her arms. “Yes! That doesn’t mean I want you to kill yourself trying to get them to stop. You _know_ we can handle those stupid men. They won’t dare to attack us.” Toki retorts. 

Lady Eboshi sighs. “Only because they know our guns outmatch their current weaponry, Toki. It won’t be long before they arm themselves in a similar manner and then they won’t care who is guarding Tatara. I dare say they will do worse things knowing if only the women are here to stand in its defense...”

Icy cold clenches Toki’s chest. She’s well aware of what raging, raiding men would do to their village’s women and herself if they got a hold of them. 

“Then why can’t you make a deal with someone else, damn it! Contract others to help defend us!” Her patience and nerves are fraying at this discussion, at Lady Eboshi’s death-wish stubbornness. 

Lady Eboshi rises to her feet, back straight and shoulders pushed back. 

“Clearly, we’re getting nowhere, Toki. I will not change my mind on this. I am leaving tomorrow. You may wish me goodbye now or later, but I am going. This is for the safety of us all. Goodnight.” Lady Eboshi states. She turns and strides away from Toki, still sitting on the blanket, not sparing her a glance backwards. Fury boils in Toki’s chest.

She does not say goodbye to her lover that night or the next day when Lady Eboshi leaves with the slimy creep, Jigo and his disguised men along with Gonza.

\--

Lady Eboshi seeks to kill a god, and when she returns to Toki, she is near death from her wounds.

Toki wants to wail at the horror unleashed upon her lover. All anger and pettiness wiped away in one stroke at the sight of blood pouring through Lady Eboshi’s clothes as she is handed off from the boat to Toki and a group of women. 

The sight shouldn’t shock her, not after witnessing a headless Forest God decimate enormous swathes of land all around Tatara, alongside the groups of men and women's lives it mindlessly stole. Still, panic burns through Toki as they rush Lady Eboshi to the healer Fumiko’s hut. Airi runs ahead of the group hollering for Fumiko. _She can’t die, she won’t die. Lady Eboshi will be saved!_. 

Fumiko won’t let any of the group stay when they hand over the unconscious Lady Eboshi to her and her assistants. 

It’s hours before Toki can see Lady Eboshi. Fumiko refuses to allow her to be moved from the healing hut before Toki can even voice her plan. 

“I need her close. She’s not out of danger yet. You may see her, but she’s in a drugged sleep. She will be this way for the next few days while she’s recovering,” Fumiko warns, hovering behind Toki. 

Toki nods as she kneels down at Lady Eboshi’s right side, which is heavily bandaged. The heavy cloying smell of medicinal herbs sticks in Toki’s nose as she gazes at her beautiful woman sedated into a coma. The tears well up in Toki's eyes unbidden. Toki scrubs at her eyes, upset by this reaction. She isn’t one to wail and weep. Anger and frustration are easier to handle, not despair and grief. This mutilation of her beloved’s body horrifies her for the damage done. The rational part of Toki knows Lady Eboshi will not let this disability cripple her. She’s too resourceful and driven to be slowed by this grave injury, even now that her arm has been bitten off. It’s those very traits that set Lady Eboshi on the war path with all the gods of the forest. A human unafraid to slaughter deities for the chance at survival and to protect her loved ones in Tatara.

But...the obsession...it has near destroyed them. This obsession nearly cost Lady Eboshi _her life_. Toki takes a shaky breath in and out as she moves to Lady Eboshi’s uninjured side. She lays down next to her beloved, filled with a shakiness inside of her, her limbs feeling weak. How close Toki still is to possibly losing her. There is hatred in Toki’s heart for all the deaths they’ve suffered, but she is exhausted. This war is destroying them.

Toki sighs, pressing her forehead to Lady Eboshi’s shoulder. Things will need to change if they’re to survive. Right now though she will watch over her lover until she wakes because Lady Eboshi _will_ wake up. Toki will be here when she opens her eyes again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out my beta Karios he's the one who did a fantastic job helping me with my punctuation! I'm eternally grateful for all the betas who have ever helped me with my lack of understanding commas. Thank you for your hard work and time!  
> Thank you as well for my beta Texas too! Your help is so very much appreciated 
> 
> **Comments, critiques and kudos are greatly appreciated! Any feedback is wonderful to see and helps to motivate me to keep writing!**
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